


Unconditional

by Smritz



Series: Pen to Bloodstained Paper (Death Note Poetry) [4]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, Love Poems, One-Sided Attraction, POV Amane Misa, Pining, Post-Canon, Prose Poem, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 02:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15854100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smritz/pseuds/Smritz
Summary: Unconditional love exists.





	Unconditional

Do you know what unconditional love feels like?

It doesn’t feel like an obligation, a vow, a promise.

It feels like desperation.

It feels like obsession, fixation, addiction.

It feels like everything we have labelled wrong under a label we call right.

It hurts more than anything I’ve ever known.

The smooth sting of a knife cutting into my neck

Spilling blood onto my clothes, staining fabric a deep, unnatural red-brown.

When I told you that I’d take a bullet for you,

That I’d carve my heart out for you if you’d asked,

Did you ever think I meant it?

Did you think for one second

That I would end up in the bathroom with the point of a knife digging into my chest,

Sobbing on my knees because I will never be happy?

The movies portray it as a rose blooming in a glass case

They show it with glass slippers and true love’s kiss

Because only a love unconditional could possibly blossom into anything substantial

If that were true, I wouldn’t be standing here with my phone in my hands

Dialling a number I know I will never call

I wouldn’t lie in the shower letting boiling hot water run down my face

I wouldn’t need to be rescued from the prince who rescued me.

I would be dancing in the sky with a strong pair of arms keeping me afloat

I would be in love, if it wasn’t unconditional.

My addiction keeps me with you,

I’m not obligated to stay.

I keep telling myself that you love me, if only to keep myself going

Because any time I’m apart from you, the demons in my skull pick me apart

They tell me I will be alone, that nobody could possibly love me the way I want

They tell me in your voice that losing you would be losing my only chance.

You have never told me to stay.

Unconditional love isn’t a sham, but it is a joke.

And I wish I could laugh at it but I’m

Dialling a number I will never call

Breaking a vase against the ground

Gathering up the pieces in my hands and closing my palms over them

Feeling my blood drip through the gaps in my fingers.

I can never survive on my own

I can never walk on my own two feet.

I can never find love again when I’ve spent my every last drop on you.

But I’m not obliged to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> It's sad that someone who started the series so happy ended up alone on a watchtower :(
> 
> Again, I just wrote this after a fight with my sister, and Misa just popped into my head once I'm done XD maybe one day I'll write enough of these to compile them into a book XD
> 
> Review and comment please! :D


End file.
